These troubled times of the COVID-19 in one way or another are affecting us all. Being in lock-down and social distancing when summer is coming, sounds like “winter is coming”, I’m grateful for still having a job, working remotely from the comfortability of home and having almost everything.
However as an antsy pants person and having been travelling monthly to different places for 3 years, to be at home it’s a challenge. Today after 2 months from my last trip and one-month locked-down at home I’m starting to climb the walls.
At first, I was reluctant about the COVID-19 outbreak, and I wasn’t giving credit, I thought it was an exaggeration. I even booked 2 trips In February for March and April. But, 2 weeks later when the news was getting louder, I stumbled upon a video interview to a scientist talking about the virus. I finally got it. On 14th March I locked-down myself assuming I would throw my trips away.
I live alone and my family lives far away. My routine is working until afternoon and later free time to get distracted and talk to family and friends. Living alone is not bad if you keep busy, but it isn’t that good not having a patio to lie down.
It’s been one-month locked-down and outside was a shiny and warm day, sparrows sang, and the spring paraded around with its perfume. It was a perfect day, but not to be at home. With such spectacle outside I felt like a bird in a cage.
I imagined many people would go out with that weather that I didn’t think about doing the same, so I stayed at home, trying to focus on my things. Suddenly, I had neither the energy nor motivation to do anything. I didn’t want to go out or talking to anyone, I just wanted to close my eyes and fall asleep. I wonder if it was the true feeling of depression.
Lying down, in the middle of my internal shadows, paradoxically, the beautiful day turned into a covered threatening sky. The clouds energetically thundered the premonition of a storm. It’s weird, but it was the first time I felt happy about the weather being “spoiled” in a spring day.
The storm was like an oasis in the middle of the desert, My excitement was like when I’m going to travel, but to go out and getting soaked with the rain. The sound of the rain and feeling the cold drops in my face removed completely the cloak of darkness that was covering me.
3 learnings to avoid feeling depressed again
- Not pushing too hard for being at home: although self-isolation is the rule, it isn’t healthy to stay at home if the inner self is vibrating to go out. I’ve thought alternative unpopular routes to walk if I need to, taking precautions. Next time I promised myself at least sitting on the pavement outside to get some vitamin D.
- Music as much as possible: that day I didn’t listen to music, since I wanted to concentrate in my writings, but looks like it was a factor to feel sick later. I think, most of us we are not aware about the effect of music in our lives, but definitely it helps to feel motivated and energized. Rock and metal are my “go-to”, but also sometimes rumba, classic, gypsy or any style that brings up good memories (and if they are related to travel experiences, much better!)
- Talking to family and friends: having independence and living alone is awesome, but we are not made of steel. I learned that sometimes it’s better to leave some tasks on hold and disconnecting talking to the good ones. That day I became self-absorbed, which was worse afterwards, and my friends who reached me, contributed I came back from my darkness. These learnings came from them as well.